So in the end I finally made my decision in regards the type of surgery I wanted for my cancer treatment.
Originally while speaking with my surgeon (a hugely pregnant woman btw...Yes, I KNOW! With my preggo nose I couldn't even stand the smell of chicken and yet she still manages to be a surgeon!) I opted for the local excision which is to say they cut around the original tumour site and take a bit of healthy tissue to make sure that all cancer cells are removed. It's not invasive. The recovery is very quick.
However they do not take out your lymph nodes. They do not even look at your lymph nodes. So they stay in there all happy as clams but there is a 10% chance they will have cancer. Over all there is a 3-19% chance I will get cancer again. If I do get cancer it will most likely be in the first 3 years. By then it may be aggressive enough that it may have spread (liver, lungs, brain etc) and there is a 40% chance that they will not be able to do salvage surgery. If I get the cancer again I will be doing radiation, chemo, more surgery, medication, getting side effects from the treatment and / or complications.
Well that kinda sucks don't it?
I decided on the last option - to get a colostomy. ie a bag.
Yes, permanently.
And yes, it was a hard decision. But really the only logical decision.
The procedure will be a hard and long recovery. 6-8 weeks. Possibly longer if there are any complications such as the wounds not healing, abscesses, fistulas, adhesions. And of course I will have to deal with a new appliance attached to my stomach! However the prize at the end of the tunnel is 1% chance of recurrence and the earlier staged cancer I have the less likely I will have a recurrence.
Some are at a loss as to why I would do this extreme surgery. Some people even told the surgeon that they would rather die than get a colostomy, to which the surgeon scoffed and said "That's so stupid!"
I know that Farrah Fawcett died from rectal cancer. She didn't opt for a colostomy. She went to Germany for some alternative treatment. It still didn't save her. I don't know the real situation of course but I wonder if she opted for the colostomy in the first place would she still be here?
So my sole reason for doing this: My family. My kids are still small. They need their mommy. Also I want to be a granny with fashionable grey hair! My husband already lost a sister to breast cancer. And I don't want to put him through that again. I am my mother's only child. No parent should bury their child. ever.
My bag will be my badge of honour, my guarantee that I will continue to be a mother, wife and daughter and eventually a granny.
So if I have to gamble with my life then I will go with the winning horse and ride that pony into the sunset while laughing maniacally at cancer's loss. Screw you cancer!!!
(Btw that isn't my lily white, flat belly - I wish!)
